Heyo here’s fanfiction I wrote last year I guess Don’t Read It
So I show up on a bus in Beach city and
get off and I’m hungry so I go get a pizza at the fish pizza place. I
walk in and Ronaldo is on his latop bloggin about keping tBeach City
weuird. I compliment his blog as a huge fan and point out that he’s
getting pizza on his keyboard. We establsich good rapport by this,
and I sit down and order my pizza.
Outside, throught the glass doors and
windows I see Lapis Lazuli land. She’s the hottest ever, and I turn
to Ronaldo to make eye contact. He’s as excited as me, and asks if I
want to see some fanart he drew of Lapis. I say yeah I look at fanart
of Lapis all the time. So he turns his laptops toward me and show me
the fanart.
In it, Lapis is crying a river, she is
hugging Japser, and she has blue nail paint. I am repulsed at this
ruination of my waifu, an d proceed to don my opinion pants.
I state that there’s nothing
particularly wrong with the anatomy, but the coloration makes her
look too intense and removes the cuteness from her. He says he didn’t
want her to look so cute, and I say he’s a heckin moron.
I roll with it, pointing out that her
nail polish is uncomfortable and doesn’t fit the charaacter. He says
we don’t actually know enoughtabout the character to say that
she’dnever wear nail polish and I say he’s right but I hate the nail
polish and wouldn’t want any waifus to wear it. If she wore stuff
like that I’d feel uncomfortable and not want to hold her hand as
much.
Ronaldo retorts this by scrolling to
the next piece of fanart. Lapis is waering high heels, earrings, and
has a shoulder tatto o visible under her roughly torn blue dress.
All purity is gone from this world and
I feel the urge to vomit. The red lipstick he’s drawn on her makes me
wanna never kiss her for sure. no thanks. And the high heels what
even. Can you imagine flying around with those big old things
throwing off your balance.?
Lapis kicks the glass door from the
outside in, and shatters it, then channels the water in the laptop
molecule4s to make the laptoip explode. She gives me a deadpan thumbs
up and reminds me that my seemingly contrarian opinions about
fasshion are at least coming from an honest place, and that as long
as I can communicate that to real girls they won’t hold it against
me, even though it comes across very prejudiced against those who
fall out of line with my picky tastes.